Surrogacy Advice for Future Dads from MHB New York
Becoming a father starts with a deeply personal hope: a child to love and a family to call your own. But when you begin exploring surrogacy, that hope can come with plenty of questions.
Where should you start? How do you choose a clinic or agency? What if you feel overwhelmed by the options?
At Men Having Babies New York, ACRC Surrogacy asked doctors what advice they would give intended parents beginning their journey. Their answers offered a reassuring starting point for gay men and other intended parents exploring family building: educate yourself, take your time, and choose people you trust.
Do your research and ask questions
“Do your research. Do lots and lots of research. Ask a ton of questions.”
That advice captures one of the clearest themes in the interviews. Before choosing a team, give yourself space to learn about your options and understand how different providers work.
Another doctor encouraged intended parents to speak with multiple clinics and agencies. Learning from different conversations can help you recognize what matters most to you and make a more informed decision.
To put that advice into practice, consider asking:
What would the first steps look like for our circumstances?
What does your team handle, and which services involve other professionals?
How will you communicate with us throughout the journey?
Which fees are included, and what additional expenses should we discuss?
What could affect our timeline?
What experience do you have supporting gay couples and single intended fathers?
You do not need to arrive with every answer. A consultation is an opportunity to ask questions and understand your next steps.
Give yourself permission to be patient
Patience came up repeatedly in the doctors’ responses. They reminded intended parents that family building is a journey and encouraged them to avoid rushing the process.
For someone eager to become a dad, waiting can feel difficult. It is natural to want a clear plan and to feel ready for the next milestone.
The advice from these interviews is to allow time for thoughtful decisions. Ask your prospective team to explain the steps ahead and discuss what may influence your individual timeline. Giving yourself that space can help you approach the journey with clearer expectations.
Choose people you feel comfortable with and trust
One doctor encouraged intended parents to find people they feel comfortable with and trust.
That personal connection matters when you are discussing something as meaningful as becoming a parent. Alongside your research, pay attention to how a clinic or agency responds to your questions.
Do you feel heard? Are explanations clear? Can you raise concerns openly? Does the team take time to understand the family you hope to build?
Another doctor acknowledged that it can be difficult to judge a provider through a Zoom call or a short meeting. Their advice was to combine education with your own instincts.
If a conversation leaves you with unanswered questions, ask for a follow-up before making a commitment.
You do not have to make every decision perfectly
One of the most comforting messages in the video was to avoid putting too much pressure on yourself to do everything perfectly.
When you are comparing options, it can be easy to worry that there is one ideal choice you must find. The doctors’ advice leaves room for a more personal approach: learn about your options and consider what feels right for you.
That does not mean skipping research. It means recognizing that thoughtful decisions can still come with uncertainty. You can ask for guidance, revisit questions, and take the journey one step at a time.
Take time to process what you learn
One doctor recognized that intended parents attending an event like MHB may already be doing extensive research—and may feel overwhelmed.
After meeting different providers, give yourself time to review your notes and reflect on the conversations. Identify what is clear, what needs clarification, and which teams you would like to speak with again.
If you are planning parenthood with a partner, talk about your priorities together. If you are pursuing fatherhood on your own, consider who you would like alongside you for support.
Information becomes more useful when you have time to understand what it means for your own plans.
Explore your path to fatherhood with ACRC Surrogacy
Our conversations at MHB New York reflected a shared commitment to helping intended parents feel informed and supported as they explore their dreams of family.
At ACRC Surrogacy, we welcome the opportunity to hear your story, answer your questions, and discuss how we can support your family-building plans.
Whether you are a gay couple, a single intended father, or another intended parent exploring surrogacy, you can begin with a conversation.
For more encouragement as you get started, watch the doctors’ advice from MHB New York.
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