Surrogacy Do's and Don'ts: How Intended Parents and Surrogates Build Successful Journeys Together

A surrogacy journey is one of the most meaningful experiences many families will ever undertake. It is built on hope, trust, compassion, and a shared commitment to bringing a child into the world.

While every surrogacy journey is unique, the most successful ones have something in common: they are built on clear communication, realistic expectations, thoughtful planning, and the guidance of experienced professionals.

Surrogacy is much more than matching intended parents with a gestational surrogate. It is a carefully coordinated process involving fertility specialists, obstetric providers, independent attorneys, psychologists, insurance professionals, escrow providers, and experienced case managers. Each professional plays an important role in helping ensure the journey progresses safely, ethically, and with the best interests of everyone involved.

At ACRC Global, we have spent more than 11 years helping intended parents and gestational surrogates navigate this remarkable journey. Having supported more than 1,300 families, we have learned that successful surrogacy is not about avoiding every challenge it is about approaching each stage with preparation, open communication, and the right support.

One of the most rewarding aspects of surrogacy is the relationship that often develops between intended parents and their surrogate. Many describe one another as lifelong friends, and some become extended family long after the baby is born. These relationships are something to celebrate.

At the same time, the strongest relationships are supported by clear expectations and professional coordination. Friendship, trust, and good intentions are incredibly valuable, but important decisions should always be made with the guidance of the professionals supporting your journey.

Whether you are considering becoming a gestational surrogate or growing your family through surrogacy, this guide shares practical best practices based on ACRC Global's experience coordinating hundreds of successful journeys. Our goal is to help intended parents and surrogates feel informed, supported, and confident from matching through delivery and beyond.

Every Successful Surrogacy Journey Starts with the Same Foundation

Although no two surrogacy journeys are exactly alike, our Case Management team has found that the strongest journeys consistently share five important qualities.

1. Open and Honest Communication

Good communication builds trust.

Throughout the journey, intended parents, gestational surrogates, case managers, medical providers, and legal professionals all rely on timely and accurate communication to help ensure everyone remains informed.

If something changes, whether it's a medical update, scheduling issue, travel plan, or personal concern, communicating early gives your support team the opportunity to help before small issues become larger challenges.

One conversation today can often prevent unnecessary stress tomorrow.

2. Mutual Respect

Surrogacy is a partnership built on mutual respect.

Intended parents are trusting someone with one of the most important chapters of their lives.

Gestational surrogates are making an extraordinary commitment to help another family achieve their dream of parenthood.

Recognising and respecting one another's roles, privacy, families, time, and personal boundaries helps build relationships that are positive, supportive, and rewarding for everyone involved.

3. Planning Ahead

A successful surrogacy journey involves many important milestones.

Medical screening.

Legal contracts.

Embryo transfer.

Pregnancy.

Delivery.

Welcoming the baby.

While it is impossible to predict every circumstance, discussing important plans well in advance helps everyone feel more prepared as each milestone approaches.

Your Case Manager will help coordinate each stage of the journey and keep you informed about what to expect next.

Planning ahead also allows the appropriate professionals to provide guidance whenever circumstances change.

4. Trusting the Process

Surrogacy is carefully coordinated for a reason.

Every professional involved in your journey has a specific responsibility.

Your fertility clinic provides medical care.

Independent attorneys protect each party's legal interests.

Insurance professionals help navigate coverage.

Escrow providers manage financial agreements.

Your Case Manager helps coordinate communication and supports you throughout the journey.

Working together as a team allows everyone to focus on what they do best while helping ensure important decisions are made thoughtfully and with the appropriate guidance.

5. Asking Questions

There is no such thing as asking too many questions during a surrogacy journey.

Whether you're unsure about medications, appointments, legal documents, travel, communication, or simply want reassurance, asking questions early helps everyone move forward with confidence.

Your Case Manager is there to support you not only when challenges arise, but throughout your entire journey.

Do's for Intended Parents

Becoming a parent through surrogacy is an exciting and emotional experience. While much of the focus is naturally on preparing to welcome your baby, building a positive partnership with your gestational surrogate and your professional team is equally important.

The following best practices can help create a respectful, well-coordinated, and successful journey.

Do Build a Relationship Based on Trust and Respect

Your gestational surrogate is making an extraordinary commitment to help grow your family.

Treat her with kindness, appreciation, and respect throughout the journey.

Many intended parents and surrogates develop close friendships that last well beyond delivery. These relationships often become one of the most meaningful parts of the experience.

Strong relationships are built through mutual respect, open communication, and appreciation for each person's role in the journey.

Do Keep Your Case Manager Informed

One of the greatest advantages of working with an experienced surrogacy agency is having someone dedicated to helping coordinate your journey.

Your Case Manager serves as your central point of communication, helping coordinate appointments, answer questions, provide updates, and connect you with the appropriate professionals whenever needed.

If plans change, let your Case Manager know as early as possible.

Whether the discussion involves scheduling, travel, communication, hospital planning, or another important matter, early communication allows your team to provide guidance and keep everyone aligned.

Do Plan Ahead for Each Stage of Your Journey

Surrogacy is a journey with many important milestones, and thoughtful preparation can make each stage feel more manageable and less stressful.

As your journey progresses, your Case Manager will help coordinate appointments, communicate with your fertility clinic, and guide you through what to expect next. While every journey is unique, planning ahead helps everyone stay informed, aligned, and prepared.

Topics that are often discussed throughout the journey include:

•  Medical screening and treatment timelines

•  Legal contracts and legal clearance

•  Embryo transfer preparation

•  Pregnancy milestones

•  Birth preferences and hospital planning

•  Parentage orders, where applicable

•  Insurance considerations

•  Newborn care planning

•  Travel arrangements, where applicable

•  Communication expectations before and after delivery

Not every question will be answered by your agency alone. Depending on the situation, your Case Manager may coordinate with your fertility clinic, independent attorney, insurance professional, hospital team, or other qualified providers to ensure you receive the appropriate guidance.

Planning ahead doesn't mean anticipating every possible situation—it means knowing who to contact when questions arise and working together to make informed decisions.

Do Follow the Guidance of Your Professional Team

One of the greatest benefits of working with an experienced surrogacy agency is having an entire team of professionals supporting your journey.

Each member of your team has a specific role:

•  Your fertility clinic oversees your medical treatment.

•  Your independent attorney protects your legal interests.

•  Your Case Manager coordinates communication and helps guide you through each stage of the journey.

•  Insurance and escrow professionals manage their respective areas of expertise.

Whenever questions arise, rely on the appropriate professional rather than assumptions or informal advice.

No one is expected to know every answer, which is why your professional team is there to support you.

Do Respect Healthy Boundaries

Many intended parents and gestational surrogates develop meaningful friendships throughout their journey. Some remain close for many years after the birth of the child.

These relationships are one of the most rewarding aspects of surrogacy.

At the same time, healthy boundaries help ensure that everyone understands their role and feels comfortable throughout the journey.

Respect your surrogate's privacy, family, personal time, and medical autonomy. Likewise, respect the professional roles of your Case Manager, attorneys, physicians, and other members of your support team.

Strong relationships and professional boundaries work together to create successful journeys.

Don'ts for Intended Parents

Don't Assume Good Intentions Are Enough

One of the most valuable lessons we've learned after supporting more than 1,300 surrogacy journeys is that good intentions should always be supported by clear communication and professional coordination.

Even when intended parents and gestational surrogates have developed a close relationship, important decisions should never rely solely on verbal conversations or personal assumptions.

If discussions involve significant changes to your journey, involve your Case Manager early.

Professional guidance helps ensure everyone understands their responsibilities, explores available options, and considers any legal, medical, financial, or practical implications before decisions are made.

Don't Make Significant Arrangements Without Consulting Your Team

Unexpected situations can happen during any surrogacy journey.

Medical recommendations may change.

Travel plans may need to be adjusted.

Delivery timing may be different than expected.

Family circumstances can evolve.

When important changes arise, avoid making significant arrangements independently.

Instead, contact your Case Manager and, where appropriate, involve your independent attorney, fertility clinic, or other professionals supporting your journey.

Working together allows everyone to make informed decisions while keeping the wellbeing of the surrogate, intended parents, and baby at the centre of every discussion.

Don't Assume Everyone Shares the Same Expectations

Clear communication helps prevent misunderstandings.

Discuss expectations regarding communication, appointments, birth preferences, hospital visits, photographs, updates, and future contact throughout the journey.

As circumstances evolve, revisit those conversations together.

Assumptions can create confusion, while open communication builds confidence and trust.

Don't Wait to Ask for Help

Every surrogacy journey has questions.

Some are medical.

Some are legal.

Some are emotional.

Others are simply part of navigating a complex process.

If something feels uncertain, don't wait until it becomes a larger concern.

Your Case Manager is there to help connect you with the right resources and professionals, ensuring you receive guidance before small concerns become bigger challenges.

Don't Ask Your Surrogate to Take on Responsibilities Beyond the Agreed Journey

Many intended parents and surrogates develop close and meaningful relationships, and it's natural to rely on one another throughout the journey.

However, after birth, your surrogate's responsibilities are those outlined in the surrogacy agreement and applicable legal process.

If circumstances change or you are considering arrangements involving newborn care, temporary childcare, travel, financial support, or other responsibilities beyond the original agreement, involve your Case Manager and independent legal counsel before discussing or making new commitments.

Approaching these conversations through your professional team helps protect your relationship, ensures everyone clearly understands expectations, and allows any legal, medical, or practical considerations to be addressed before decisions are made.

Do's for Surrogates

Choosing to become a gestational surrogate is an extraordinary act of generosity. Throughout your journey, you'll work closely with your Case Manager, fertility clinic, healthcare providers, and other professionals who are there to support you every step of the way.

While every journey is unique, these best practices can help you feel confident, prepared, and supported from matching through delivery.

Do Stay Connected With Your Case Manager

Your Case Manager is your primary point of contact throughout your surrogacy journey.

They are there to answer questions, coordinate appointments, communicate with your fertility clinic, provide updates, and help you navigate each stage of the process.

Keep your Case Manager informed about important updates, including:

•  Changes to your health or pregnancy

•  The start of your menstrual cycle when requested by your fertility clinic

•  Changes to your availability or upcoming travel

•  Changes to your address, household, or personal circumstances

•  New medications prescribed by another healthcare provider

•  Questions about your treatment calendar or appointments

•  Any concerns or unexpected situations

Keeping your Case Manager informed allows your support team to respond quickly, coordinate with the appropriate professionals, and help your journey continue as smoothly as possible.

Do Follow Your Fertility Clinic's Instructions

Every fertility clinic follows carefully developed medical protocols designed to support a successful embryo transfer and healthy pregnancy.

Attend all scheduled appointments, complete requested laboratory testing, and follow your medication schedule exactly as instructed.

Before your embryo transfer, continue using contraception as directed by your fertility clinic until they advise otherwise. An unintended pregnancy during this stage could delay or prevent your embryo transfer and affect your surrogacy journey.

If you ever have questions about medications, injections, or treatment instructions, contact your Case Manager or fertility clinic before making any changes.

There is never a disadvantage to asking questions.

Do Prioritize Your Health and Wellbeing

Taking care of yourself is one of the most important ways you care for the baby you are carrying.

Throughout your pregnancy, continue following your healthcare provider's recommendations regarding:

•  Nutrition

•  Exercise

•  Prenatal vitamins

•  Hydration

•  Rest

•  Approved medications

•  Caffeine consumption

Avoid smoking, alcohol, recreational drugs, and activities that may place you or the pregnancy at unnecessary risk.

If you become unwell or have concerns about your health, contact your healthcare provider promptly and keep your Case Manager informed.

Do Attend Every Scheduled Appointment

Every appointment plays an important role in your journey.

Depending on your stage of treatment, appointments may include:

•  Psychological evaluations

•  Medical screening

•  Blood work

•  Ultrasounds

•  Monitoring appointments

•  Embryo transfer

•  Pregnancy confirmation

•  Obstetric appointments

These visits help your medical team monitor your health, adjust medications when necessary, and ensure everything is progressing as expected.

If an emergency or unavoidable circumstance prevents you from attending an appointment, notify your Case Manager as soon as possible so your team can work with the clinic to make alternative arrangements.

Do Lean on Your Support Team

Surrogacy is both physically and emotionally rewarding.

It can also be demanding.

Remember that you are never expected to navigate challenges alone.

Your Case Manager, healthcare providers, counsellors, family, and support network are all part of your journey.

Whether you have a medical question, need reassurance, or simply want someone to talk to, don't hesitate to reach out.

Supporting you is one of the most important parts of our role.

Don'ts for Surrogates

Don't Make Important Commitments Without Speaking to Your Team

Many gestational surrogates develop close relationships with their intended parents, and that's something we love to see.

However, if conversations involve significant responsibilities or changes to your original journey, pause before making a commitment.

Whether the discussion relates to travel, financial matters, medical decisions, newborn care, communication after delivery, or another important topic, involve your Case Manager before moving forward.

Your Case Manager can help coordinate conversations with your independent attorney, fertility clinic, or other professionals when appropriate, ensuring everyone understands the expectations and any practical or legal considerations.

Don't Ignore Health Concerns

If something doesn't feel right, trust your instincts and seek medical advice promptly.

Report symptoms or concerns to your healthcare provider, and let your Case Manager know about any significant updates.

Early communication helps your support team coordinate the care and assistance you may need.

Don't Stop Medications or Change Your Treatment Plan

Your medication schedule has been carefully developed by your fertility clinic.

Never stop, change, or begin medications including over-the-counter medications or supplements without first consulting your medical provider.

If you're unsure whether something is safe, ask before taking it.

Don't Miss Appointments Whenever Possible

Your appointments are an essential part of monitoring your health and the baby's development.

If an unexpected situation arises, let your Case Manager know immediately so your team can work with the clinic to determine the next steps.

Keeping everyone informed helps avoid unnecessary delays.

Don't Feel You Have to Solve Challenges Alone

Unexpected situations can happen during any pregnancy.

If you receive a request that makes you uncomfortable or you're unsure how to respond, don't feel that you need to solve it by yourself.

Your Case Manager is there to support you, answer your questions, and connect you with the appropriate professionals whenever needed.

Sometimes one conversation is all it takes to find the right solution.

Don't Agree to Responsibilities Beyond Your Surrogacy Agreement

One of the most rewarding parts of a surrogacy journey is the trusting relationship that often develops between intended parents and their surrogate. It's natural to want to support one another, and many lifelong friendships begin through surrogacy.

However, it's important to remember that your role as a gestational surrogate is defined by your surrogacy agreement and the professional plan established with your agency, fertility clinic, and independent attorney.

If you are asked to take on responsibilities that extend beyond your agreed role such as providing childcare after birth, temporary caregiving, travelling with the baby, making decisions on behalf of the child, or entering into new financial or personal arrangements pause before agreeing.

Discuss the request with your Case Manager and independent attorney first. Even when everyone has the best intentions, arrangements made outside the agreed process may have legal, medical, insurance, or practical implications that are not immediately obvious.

Professional guidance helps protect everyone involved, clarify expectations, and ensure decisions are made with the child's best interests in mind.

Why Strong Relationships Thrive with Professional Support

One of the most rewarding aspects of surrogacy is the relationship that often develops between intended parents and their gestational surrogate.

Over the course of many months, you'll celebrate milestones together from matching and medical clearance to embryo transfer, hearing the baby's heartbeat, and preparing for delivery. It's not uncommon for intended parents and surrogates to describe one another as lifelong friends or even extended family.

At ACRC Global, we believe these relationships are something to celebrate.

However, one of the most valuable lessons we've learned after supporting more than 1,300 surrogacy journeys is that the strongest relationships are supported by clear communication and professional coordination.

When important decisions arise, it's natural to want to solve challenges together. But some situations have legal, medical, financial, insurance, or practical implications that may not be immediately obvious.

That's why significant decisions should always involve your Case Manager and, when appropriate, your fertility clinic, independent attorney, or other members of your professional team.

Professional coordination isn't about creating unnecessary barriers. It's about helping everyone make informed decisions, understand their responsibilities, and protect the wellbeing of everyone involved especially the child.

Strong relationships and professional support work together to create successful surrogacy journeys.

When Should You Contact Your Case Manager?

One of the biggest advantages of working with an experienced surrogacy agency is knowing you never have to navigate your journey alone.

Your Case Manager is there to support you throughout every stage—not just when challenges arise.

You should contact your Case Manager whenever:

•  Your plans or availability change.

•  You have questions about appointments or your treatment calendar.

•  You experience a medical concern or unexpected symptom.

•  You receive a request you're unsure how to respond to.

•  Travel arrangements change.

•  You're uncertain about your responsibilities.

•  You have questions about communication with the other party.

•  You need help understanding the next step in your journey.

•  Something simply doesn't feel right.

Sometimes your Case Manager will answer your question directly.

Other times, they'll coordinate with your fertility clinic, independent attorney, insurance professional, escrow provider, or another member of your support team to ensure you receive the appropriate guidance.

You are never expected to figure everything out on your own.

ACRC Tip

If you're ever unsure whether something should be discussed with your Case Manager, the answer is almost always yes. Early communication helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures you receive guidance from the appropriate professionals before small concerns become larger challenges.

The ACRC Surrogacy Success Checklist

Every surrogacy journey is unique, but before making an important decision, we encourage intended parents and gestational surrogates to pause and ask themselves a few simple questions.

Before moving forward, ask:

✔ Have I spoken with my Case Manager?

✔ Does my independent attorney need to review this?

✔ Should my fertility clinic or healthcare provider be involved?

✔ Does everyone understand the same expectations?

✔ Is this consistent with our legal agreement?

✔ Have we considered the medical, legal, financial, and practical implications?

✔ Does this decision support the wellbeing of the intended parents, gestational surrogate, and baby?

If you're unsure about any of these questions, pause before moving forward and contact your professional team.

One conversation today can often prevent unnecessary stress tomorrow.

Why Families Choose ACRC Global

Choosing the right surrogacy agency is one of the most important decisions you'll make.

For more than 11 years, ACRC Global has helped over 1,300 families navigate the surrogacy journey with confidence, compassion, and personalized support.

As a New York-licensed surrogacy agency, we follow the guidelines of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and work closely with experienced fertility clinics, independent attorneys, mental health professionals, insurance specialists, escrow providers, and healthcare teams throughout the United States.

Our experienced multilingual Case Management team coordinates every stage of the journey from matching and medical screening through legal clearance, embryo transfer, pregnancy, delivery, and beyond.

We don't simply help create matches.

We help coordinate successful journeys built on trust, communication, preparation, and professional support.

Begin Your Journey with Confidence

Whether you're exploring surrogacy as an intended parent or considering becoming a gestational surrogate, having an experienced team by your side can make all the difference.

At ACRC Global, we're committed to providing compassionate guidance, personalized support, and professional coordination throughout every stage of your journey.

If you're ready to learn more, we're here to answer your questions and help you take the next step with confidence.

Book your free consultation today.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can intended parents and gestational surrogates become friends?

Absolutely. Many intended parents and gestational surrogates develop meaningful friendships throughout their journey, and some remain in contact long after the baby is born. A positive relationship can be one of the most rewarding aspects of surrogacy. At the same time, important decisions should continue to involve your Case Manager and the appropriate professionals to help ensure everyone remains informed and protected.

Why is communication so important during a surrogacy journey?

Clear communication helps everyone stay informed, aligned, and supported throughout the journey. Regular communication with your Case Manager and professional team can help address questions early and reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings.

What should I do if my plans change during the journey?

Unexpected situations can happen during any surrogacy journey. If your circumstances change, contact your Case Manager as soon as possible. They can help coordinate next steps and connect you with the appropriate legal, medical, or other professionals when needed.

Why should I involve my Case Manager before making important decisions?

Your Case Manager helps coordinate communication and can identify when additional guidance from your fertility clinic, independent attorney, insurance provider, or another professional may be needed. Their role is to help keep your journey organized, informed, and well supported.

Does ACRC Global provide legal or medical advice?

No. ACRC Global provides surrogacy coordination and support services. Legal advice is provided by independent attorneys, and medical advice is provided by licensed healthcare professionals. Our team works closely with these professionals to help coordinate your journey and ensure you know who to contact when questions arise.

What if I'm not sure who to ask?

Start with your Case Manager.

If your question involves legal, medical, insurance, financial, or logistical matters, your Case Manager can help connect you with the appropriate professional while continuing to coordinate your journey.

Disclaimer

This article is provided for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, financial, insurance, immigration, or psychological advice. Every surrogacy journey is unique, and individual circumstances vary. Intended parents and gestational surrogates should consult their independent legal counsel, fertility specialists, healthcare providers, insurance professionals, and other qualified advisors regarding decisions related to their specific journey. ACRC Global provides surrogacy coordination services and works alongside licensed professionals but does not replace their independent advice or services.